


`A`ohe loa i ka hana a ke aloha (Distance is ignored by love)

by inslupbanana



Series: Multi Fandom Wrong Number AUs [2]
Category: Hawaii Five-0 (2010)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Different First Meeting, Alternate Universe - Wrong Number, M/M, Texting, Wrong Number AU
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-05
Updated: 2018-06-29
Packaged: 2019-05-02 06:39:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 6,197
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14538849
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/inslupbanana/pseuds/inslupbanana
Summary: Danny didn't mean to text this infuriating idiot instead of his beloved little girl but since he has he might as well try and keep the stupid man alive because the guy doesn't seem too keen on the idea himself.Steve on the other hand is strangely taken by the short-tempered, sarcastic asshole on his phone who seems to care far too much.





	1. `A`ohe loa i ka hana a ke aloha (There is life in a kindly reply)

**Author's Note:**

> I figure if Danno says British things then pretend he picked them up from Rachel.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Danny is just angry at everything right now. The wrong number idiot who keeps making fun of him really isn't helping.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies for British things. Tell me if I get my dates the wrong way round which I probably will sometimes.  
> Please leave feedback because I know the guys are somewhat OOC and I would appreciate any advice you guys are willing to give.

Danny is  **bold**

Steve is  _Italic_

* * *

 

Friday 2/2/2011

7:49  **Hey monkey, I just arrived at work and your mommy has given the OK for me to pick you up from school later (provided Step-Stan doesn't drag you off to some unsuitable party) and then take you for the weekend. How does that sound?**

7:55  **Gracie? Come on you know how much I like Step-Stan really. Which is not at all.**

8:03  **And I know I didn't exactly approve of him giving you your phone but the upside to it was I could talk to you whenever I wanted which doesn't appear to be happening right now. Please send me a message at lunch otherwise I won't be able to take you later for some (perfectly valid, I'm sure) reason your mother will give me. Danno loves you monkey.**

12:37  **Grace? Everything alright?**

12:42  _Sorry brah but this isn't Grace._

12:45  **What do you mean? I'm sure this is her number?**

12:46 _I'd say it really isn't_

12:49 **Damn! I swear to God if Stan did this on purpose I am going to hunt him down and kill him. The man knows how little time I get to spend with my daughter already and now he's trying to take more of her time with me away with some stupid joke. This isn't funny, if I don't get my daughter later someone is going to pay for it. Gracie, you sure you're not trying to prank me there? Because if you are I really like your Step-Stan, he's  a wonderful guy.**

12:51  _Woah calm down Danno I really don't know who you or Grace are and judging by your reaction you aren't the type of guy I'd want to play a joke on. Maybe it was a simple mistake, at least think about that before you go around murdering people._

12:53  **Okay you're right I'm sorry for accidentally texting you but don't call me Danno. Only Grace gets to call me Danno.**

* * *

 Saturday 2/3/2011

7:32 _Well what should I call you?_

8:13 **Excuse me?**

8:16 _Well, Danno, since I can't call you that what should I call you?_

8:20 **Okay how about this. How about you do not call me anything because I do not know you.**

8:22 _I take it you didn't get your daughter for the weekend then_

8:23 **Stunning detective work!**

8:25 _I'm sorry brah. Now, what should I call you?_

8:26 **Fine Danny. You can call me Danny.**

8:28 _Nice to meet you Danny, I'm Steve._

8:30 **Are you kidding me?!**

8:33 _What?_

8:35 **Nothing. Just you're...nevermind.**

8:35 **Nice to meet you Steve.**

8:38 _Hey you see we're getting somewhere._

8:40 **Fine. Now I gotta go plead for my right to see my own flesh and blood.**

8:41 _Alright Danno, have fun with that._

8:44 **DANNY. I said call me Danny.**

* * *

 

Sunday 2/4/2011

7:03 _Danny! How are you today?_

7:08 **Really? You're gonna keep talking to me? And its far too early in the morning to be in that good of a mood.**

7:10 _Its nothing, just had a pretty good run for once._

7:12 **Oh my god you are one of those people.**

7:13 _One of what people?_

7:16 **Of course you are your name is Steve. Clearly you're the kind of guy who wakes up at 4 in the morning goes for a 3 hour run and _enjoys_ it.**

7:16 _Hello, one of what people?_

7:17 **A freak I believe is the usual term. The only running you should be doing is from or after people.**

7:18 **And even then all running should be kept to a minimum.**

7:20 _I can't tell if you're always like this or if you're just missing your daughter._

7:24 **Oh always like this? What is that supposed to mean?**

7:25 _And here you go again_

7:28 **If by always like this you mean I am a rational human being who doesn't freakishly dedicate his whole life to running then yes, I am always like this.**

7:29 _And to think I started by asking you how you were doing._

7:31 **There you go, you started it, you admitted it.**

7:33 _No that is not what I meant and you know it._

7:35 **Yeah yeah Stevie-boy whatever.**

7:36 **So to sum up I'm doing great how are you?**

7:38 _No longer as happy as I was._

7:41 **Ah my goal has been accomplished I can go now.**

7:42 **Have fun running Steve.**

7:44 _Yeah Danno, will do._

7:45 **REALLY AGAIN. Nope that's it I'm gone. Will not engage.**

7:46 _:P_

* * *

 

Monday 2/5/2011

8:10 **Oh do not send me emoticons. My seven year old daughter sends me emoticons. Please tell me you are above that at least.**

8:18 _Good morning to you too Danny_

8:19 _And who says emoticons, what are you 50?_

8:21 **No I am not 50 but I say that because I am a mature adult, unlike you apparently.**

8:23 _Yeah **very** mature_

8:26 **What, how old are you? Fifteen? Twelve?**

8:27 _34 actually_

8:29 **Wow I'm impressed by how much you act like a 13 year old**

8:31 _As you haven't told me I'm still sticking with the fact you're 50_

8:32 **I am also 34 _actually_**

8:34 _Huh funny coincidence I guess_

8:35 _Anyway g2g Danno ttyl_

8:37 **1) No**

8:37 **2) No**

8:37 **3) No**

8:40 _Huh_

8:42 **No do not call me Danno**

8:42 **No do not use text talk**

8:43 **And no you can't leave first, that's my job**

8:45 _Fine Danny. I'm sorry but I really have to go. Emergency thing_

8:47 **Wow thing, how descriptive and intelligent, you Neanderthal. I guess if this 'thing' is serious then good luck with that. See you Steve.**

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! Was it good? Please tell me things even if you wanna shout at me. I'm terribly sorry to anyone who is reading my other story, its on mild hiatus at the moment because I do not know what to do with it and I'm really lazy and supposed to be planning my future here. Its so terrifying.
> 
> Check out my lil poetry ebook plz! Can download on the ereader app, don't have to have a kindle :)  
> $1.94 https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07NCNRCC7  
> £1.50 https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B07NCNRCC7
> 
> Luv y'all


	2. Ma Kahi O Kaa Hana He Ola Malaila (Where work is, there is life)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Okay its official. Steve is a complete idiot. For some reason that thought worries Danny because he simply cannot stop talking to him.

Danny is  **bold**

Steve is  _Italic_

* * *

Monday 2/5/2011

18:41 **So, Steve, how was your emergency?**

18:44 _Er good I'd say yeah_

18:45 _Minimum body count_

18:47 **Wait, what the hell?**

18:48 **So this was an actual emergency?**

18:48 **With actual dead people**

18:50 _Well I never said anyone died_

18:51 ' **Minimum' implies someone did Steve**

18:53 _He was a bad guy if that makes you feel any better_

18:55 **Oh so he was a bad guy**

18:55 **I guess that would make you a good guy then huh**

18:56 **What are you Steve, some kind of delusional superhero?**

18:57 _No brah_

18:57 _I guess you could say I'm sort of in the police force_

18:59 **'Sort of' how specific**

19:00 _Really Danny? You just gonna make fun of everything I say now?_

19:02 **Technically you're not saying anything, you're typing it.**

19:02 _-_-_

19:03 **Oi what did I say about emoticons**

19:03 _:D_

19:05 **Stop**

19:05 _:)_

19:06 **Fine, fine I get it, I'm gone**

* * *

 

Tuesday 2/6/2011

9:41 _So what do you do_

9:47 **What?**

9:49 _Well you know what I do so what do you do?_

9:51 **Okay Mr 'sort of' cop**

9:52 **I am in fact an actual cop**

9:52 **A Jersey cop might I add**

9:53 _Huh_

9:54 _Again, a funny coincidence_

9:55 _That's kinda cool brah_

9:57 **Right**

9:59 **And I wasn't gonna bring it up but you keep saying it so what's with the 'brah'**

10:01 **What are you, some kind of surfer dude?**

10:03 _As you pointed out earlier I'm not saying anything I'm texting_

10:03 _And yes I can surf_

10:05 **Why would you ever do that**

10:06 **Water is not for fun Steve**

10:08 _Sure it is brah_

10:08 _And I'm Hawaiian, gotta be able to surf_

10:09 **Yeah yeah, with all your craziness I should have I guessed that**

10:11 **I bet you're one of those freaks of nature who puts pineapple on their pizza**

10:12 _I do in fact_

10:13 _Actually because of how much you seem to like it, I'm going to go order a nice ham and pineapple one right now_

10:13 M _aybe I'll even share it with my team_

10:15 **Oh no**

10:15 _This should be good_

10:16 **Let me explain something to you, okay?**

10:16 **Pizza is mozz, sauce and dough**

11:17 **Maybe even a little pepperoni if you want, I'm not going to complain about that**

11:17 **Pizza and pineapple however?**

11:17 **Do not even belong in the same airspace**

11:18 **You do not put a fruit on a pizza Steve**

11:20 _You seem to have very strong opinions about things_

11:21 **Thank you, I know and I will stand by my opinions**

11:22 _That was not a compliment_

11:24 **Well I'm taking it as one**

11:28 _Okay Danny alright_

11:28 _I have to go, we got a case_

11:30 **Oh lucky you**

11:31 **I'm stuck here doing paperwork because everyone else in this precinct is too damn lazy to do it**

* * *

 19:32 _Hey_

19:33 **Hey, how was the case?**

19:34 _Oh you know same as usual, just singlehandedly rescued a bunch of hostages, saved some lives, all pretty normal really._

19:37 **Please tell me you're joking**

19:37 _No?_

19:38 **Okay in that case you know what, there are so many things wrong with what you just said**

19:40 **You're 'sort of' a cop right?**

19:42 _Special division I'd say_

19:43 **WELL GET BACKUP STEVE**

19:43 **THAT IS WHAT BACKUP IS FOR**

19:45 _There you go again with your strong opinions_

19:48 **Are you kidding me?**

19:48 **Seriously how did you even do that anyway**

19:50 _Well its like you said earlier_

19:51 **What- that you're delusional?**

19:53 _No of course not Danny..._

19:53 _I'm a superhero_

19:55 **Now you're just messing with me**

19:56 _Possibly_

19:57 **But seriously you insane neanderthal**

19:57 **BACKUP**

19:59 _Okay Danny whatever you say_

20:00 _Why are you so angry about this anyway_

20:00 _Oh that's right, I forgot, you're angry about everything_

20:02 **First of all, no I am not**

20:03 **And secondly I am mildly annoyed by your lack of self-preservation**

20:05 _Why is my self-preservation so annoying to you?_

20:06 **Because you might upset Gracie**

20:07 _How would I upset your daughter?_

20:09 **She's become so interested in your life story, she'd miss it if you died because of your idiocy**

20:12 _We've been texting for five days and you're already telling your daughter about me? I'm flattered Danno_

20:14 **Don't call me that**

20:15 **And I don't tell her about you I commiserate with her because your sheer stupidity is too much for me to handle alone**

20:17 _Of course that's it_

20:20 **Alright much as I've enjoyed this lovely long chat I really need to finish the paperwork**

20:22 _How are you still doing paperwork?_

20:22 _Isn't it a bit late for that?_

20:23 **I told you no one else does it**

20:24 **And with your clear lack of procedure and self-sacrificing nature you really should do some more there Steven**

20:25 _What, my misery would make you feel better?_

20:26 **Obviously**

20:27 _Maybe another time_

20:27 _You should leave yours as well_

20:29 **Steve I'm fine, I have nothing better to do**

20:30 **Now go enjoy yourself so I can live vicariously through you**

20:32 _Alright by_ _e Danno_

20:33 **Bye Steve**

* * *

 

Wednesday 2/7/2011

8:11 **Hey Steve, guess what**

* * *

Tuesday 2/8/2011

12:25 **Steve?**

* * *

 

Friday 2/8/2011

8:14 _Hey Danny_

8:20 **Hey Steve, you okay?**

8:22 _Yeah, why?_

8:23 _You worried about me?_

8:25 **Maybe**

8:26 P **ossibly worried you were ignoring me**

8:28 _Nah brah, you're far too irritating to ignore_

8:29 **Oh that's reassuring thank you**

8:29 _And I had a thing_

8:31 **Oh a thing, that's what you're going with, a thing?**

8:32 _Yeah Danny a thing_

8:33 **Alright, alright I get it**

8:35 _So what did you want me to guess?_

11:20 **Hm?**

11:26 _What did you want me to guess the other day?_

11:29 **Oh yeah, yeah**

11:30 **So guess who I get to spend 48 hours with at the end of the day**

11:32 _Your daughter?_

11:34 **Yes!**

11:35 _Oh that's cool, good for you brah_

11:36 _I'm guessing this is to make up for last weekend then_

11:38 **Yeah it is so I won't get her after Sunday for another two weeks**

11:41 **Anyway I got to go**

11:42 **Got to finish this case early so I can pick Gracie up from school**

11:46  _Okay, have fun with that_

11:48 **See you Steve, glad you aren't dead**

11:50 _See you Danno_

 

* * *

3:11 **SuperSteve!**

3:12 _Er, what?_

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a note- Danny is actually currently in Hawaii but being the overprotective father he is he won't tell a stranger where he lives no matter how much he likes Steve. Also I figure having only recently moved to Hawaii he still identifies himself as a Jersey cop because that is fundamentally who he is. Heehee prepare for misunderstandings in the distant future.  
> Also I put the word fortnight in but do Americans use the word fortnight? Is that a thing?
> 
> Check out my lil poetry ebook plz! Can download on the ereader app, don't have to have a kindle :)  
> $1.94 https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07NCNRCC7  
> £1.50 https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B07NCNRCC7
> 
> Luv y'all


	3. Kā Hana Aka Makua o Ka Hanano ia'a Keiki (What parents do, children will do)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Grace is hyper, Steve is confused and Danny is so done with everything

Danno is **bold**

Steve is _Italic_

For the purpose of the call Grace is underlined

_Last time:_

Friday 2/8/2011

15:15 **SuperSteve!**

15:16 _Er, what?_

_Now:_

 

15:17 **Did you realy rescu loads of peopl all by yourself?**

15:19 _...Grace?_

15:20 **Yes! Danno didn't say it but I knew you were clever becus you save people like my Daddy.**

15:22 _Oh hey Grace, that's very kind of you, I bet you're very smart too_

15:23 **Danno says I am**

15:25 _I'm sure he does_

15:26 _Now why are you on your Dad's phone kiddo?_

15:28 **He's driving me home from scotuvpyibunoij**

15:29 _Grace?_

Steve jumped in the shock when the phone he'd been frowning at began to ring. 'What the hell?' he thought as he viewed the caller ID.

 _***'** _ _**Danno' calling*** _

" No seriously what the hell" he said out loud as he brought the phone closer to his face, maybe if he stared hard enough he'd know why it was vibrating in his hand.

"Hey Steve!" Kono stuck her head into his office from where she'd been passing by, " You gonna pick up the phone or just sit there staring at it for the next ten minutes?"

Glancing up Steve blinked in confusion and refocused his eyes.

"Oh yeah, yeah sorry" he mumbled before pressing the accept button and holding the phone up to his ear.

He was, however, sorely unprepared for the barrage of noise that came at him. At first all he could discern was the high pitched squealing of a young girl before he heard the irritable Jersey tones of what could only be Danny in the background.

-Steve! Steve, Steve, Steeeeevvee!

- **No, no Gracie, cmon-**

-SuperSteve!

- **Grace, you're too old for this**

-But I wanna talk to Steve!

- **Well maybe he doesn't want to talk to you huh? Did you think about that before you called him monkey?**

-Oh

-Sorry Danno

- **That's alright monkey, now why don't you put the phone down before he picks up, eh?**

-But-

At this point Steve was pretty sure he could actually hear the man rolling his eyes.

- **But what sweetheart**

-But he already picked up Daddy

- **What?!**

Mildly amused by the back and forth between the two, Steve figured now was a good time to interrupt.

- _Yeah, yeah I did_

A surprised laugh burst through the phone while the young girls giggles began anew.

- **What the hell Steve?**

- _What are you shouting at me for?_

- _I'm not the one who called am I Gracie?_

-He's right Danno, he didn't, he didn't

- **I knew I shouldn't have given you those gummies monkey**

- **And yeah Steven I got that**

- _You know what I think your daughter needs more sweets_

**-No stop, stop it**

- _She really doesn't seem like she's had enough_

Steve grinned to himself as he listened to the chaos he'd caused. Despite only knowing the guy for a week it was pretty easy to figure out how to press Danny's buttons.

-Really? Danno can I have more? Please? Pleeeaaassseeee?

- _I think you should_

- **Alright that is enough**

- **Both of you stop it!**

- **Steve I now know for sure that you are in fact a twelve year old and Grace, for God's sake put down the phone.**

\- Bye SuperSteve

- _Bye Grace, bye Danno_

- **Hmmph**

_***call ended*** _

21:06 **I would say I'm sorry about that but you were absolutely no help at all**

21:09 _You're welcome_

21:13 **Oh I can sense the smugness right now**

21:15 _:D_

21:17 **No do not do that**

21:19 **You know what it is not my fault that my daughter is irresistible okay, therefore it is not my fault that she had too much sugar and it is not my fault that she called you. See? Problem solved.**

21:21 _Yes of course_

21:22 **Oh don't you give me that face**

21:23 _How on earth would you know what kind of face I'm making_

21:24 **That is not the point alright, even you, SuperIdiot, would not be able to resist my daughter**

21:26 _Danno I was a Navy SEAL, I can handle a child_

21:27 **Oh you were an army guy were you? That explains so much**

21:28 **It does not however mean you can handle a seven year old girl's puppy dog eyes**

21:30 _Navy, I said Navy. And sure it does_

21:32 **Yeah with your attitude? I'll believe that when I see it**

21:34 _Hey, who are you to talk about attitude? And for all you know I could be the cuddliest guy ever_

21:35 **I hope you know I am laughing at you**

21:35 _Well that's rude_

21:36 **Loudly**

21:37 **In the middle of an empty apartment**

21:38 **I'm very glad my neighbours are out at this moment**

21:41 _That's very normal Danny_

21:42 _Now you've had your fill of laughing at me I should probably go_

21:44 **Ah like you know anything about normal**

21:45 **Bye Steve**

 

Monday 2/11/2011

11:31 _Hey Danno, have a good weekend?_

11:36 **Well I did up until the point where my ex-wife came and took the light of my life away**

11:37 **Ignore that**

11:37 **Sorry babe, didn't mean to snap at you**

11:43 _Babe?_

11:45 **Yes, babe**

11:47 **I'm from Jersey it's just how I talk Steven**

11:51 _Huh strange_

11:53 **Excuse me? Who are you calling strange _brah_**

11:56 _No I was just thinking its strange the things we know about each other_

11:57 **What?**

11:58 **We've only been texting for a week**

12:00 _Exactly_

12:02 _I know you say babe, I know you're from Jersey, I know you really hate your daughter's stepdad and I know you overindulge your daughter at any opportunity_

12:04 _But I don't know the basic things about you that I would if we met in person_

12:07 **I, on the other hand, know for a fact that you are crazy**

12:09 _Hey, uncalled for_

12:16 _Danny?_

12:41 _Danno?_

12:53 _What did I say?_

 

Tuesday 2/12/2011

9:45 _Danny?_

16:03 _I do remember you were a cop you know, so could you at least let me know you're okay?_

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heya sorry for the wait I'm lazy. Do you think the characterisation is okay?
> 
> Check out my lil poetry ebook plz! Can download on the ereader app, don't have to have a kindle :)  
> $1.94 https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07NCNRCC7  
> £1.50 https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B07NCNRCC7
> 
> Luv y'all


	4. Ua Kuluma Ke Kanaka I Ke Aloha (It is natural for people to behave in a loving way)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Danny isn't replying and Steve's not worried not at all. He's only known the guy for a week, why should he care what happens to him?

Wednesday 2/13/2011

8:04 _Danny? Hey I know I didn't talk to you for a couple of days but I'm sorry about that alright, please reply_

8:14 _Please Danny I just want to know if you're okay_

11:23 **Shteevveve**

11:25 _What the hell man? That you?_

11:26 **Yessssss**

11:28 _Well are you okay? Where have you been? Why haven't you been replying ? What's wrong?_

11:31 **I'm safe, pai**

11:31 **n meds, gimme a few**

11:45 _Oh alright. Glad you're okay brah_

Thursday 2/14/2011

1:13 **Hey Steve you still up?**

1:15 _Yeah I am, what happened to you?_

1:18 **Glad to know you care so much you worry-wart but I'm fine**

1:19 **Twisted my knee tackling a perp, re-injured an old college injury**

1:21 **I'd forgotten how hard the painkillers hit so I was out of it for a couple of days**

1:24 _Oh that's all? And you couldn't have let me know_

1:26 **Steve, you complete control freak, I was so out of it on Tuesday I couldn't even call my daughter okay**

1:27 **And what do you mean that's all? You try tearing your ACL then trying to drag a guy on it for the next twenty minutes**

1:28 **I'm sorry I don't live up to your freak of nature standards**

1:31 _Heh_

1:32 **Heh? What, what's that for?**

1:34 _Oh nothing_

1:35 **Nothing, nothing he says brilliant! Well of course I'll leave it alone then, shall I?**

1:36 _Okay maybe I missed your rants alright_

1:38 _Maybe_

1:41 **I do not rant!**

1:42 **I just find myself needing to repeat things to get them through your thick skull**

1:43 _Oh of course that's it_

1:45 **It is!**

1:47 _Yeah alright Danno_

1:48 _Get some rest now, wouldn't want to hurt your boo-boo_

Unsent 1:51 **I can't get any rest with the constant sound of this stupid ocean**

1:51 **Hmph. Night babe.**

Thursday 2/14/2011

 **** ****8:04 **I'm stuck on desk duty, entertain me please**

8:06 _Sounding a bit whiny there Danno_

8:07 **C'mon babe I'm injured here**

8:09 _Alright, alright_

8:11 _Er, you know that thing I was trying to talk about the other day before you went and broke yourself?_

8:12 **Eloquent as ever there Steven**

8:13 **Yes I do, you were complaining about the things we know about each other for whatever reason**

8:14 _Okay, okay well what I was trying to say was that we should get to know a little more about each other, er I don't know, maybe play twenty questions or something._

8:16 **Twenty questions? Are we back to you being 12 again?**

8:17 _Okay, alright, don't do that, you're the one who wanted entertainment_

8:20 **Yes I did, fine**

8:21 **Though can I just say, for now, no last names and no looking each other up**

8:23 _Yeah I guess, why?_

8:24 **Because as nice as you seem there is still the obvious insanity and I have a 7 year old daughter whom I love very much and do not want you to axe murder**

8:26 _Danny, why would you... You know what never mind._

8:27 _Alright so far we know age, first names, occupation and general location so you want to ask something first or shall I?_

8:30 **Yeah I may have lied by omission a little there**

8:31 _What? What do you mean?_

8:34 **Well I may be a Jersey cop but I am in fact no longer in New Jersey**

8:35 _Is that so? Where are you then? As I said I'm in Hawaii_

8:38 **While still considering the concept of axe murder, lets just say I'm currently closer to Hawaii than I am to Jersey**

8:40 _Oh yeah, that narrows it down_

8:42 **Alright, no need to get bitter on me, technically I still barely know you**

8:43 _Fine. Question?_

8:44 **Yes that's correct I'm glad you've finally figured out what a question is this late in life**

8:46 _-_-_

8:47 **Okay I apologise, no need to bring out the emoticons**

8:49 **Ask whatever you want then, you animal, go on**

8:50 _Er alright, okay since this is something we would have known if we'd met the traditional way_

8:50 _What do you look like?_

8:52 **The traditional way? What are we from Victorian London or something**

8:53 _I thought you said I could ask a question without you snarking at me_

8:53 **I never said anything about no snark**

8:55 _Any particular reason you don't want to answer the question?_

8:57 **AXE MURDERING**

8:58 _God fine, I'll go first_

9:01 _Alright I'm 6'1'' short brown hair, hazel eyes, multiple tattoos_

9:03 **Okay since you basically gave me identifying features I should be able to tell if a dead body is you from now on, nice Steven**

9:04 _Morbid Danno what the hell_

9:06 **Well you sort of described yourself as a perp rather than a person**

9:07 _Are you saying perps aren't people?_

9:08 **Hilarious, you know what I meant**

9:10 _No actually I don't, why don't you show me?_

9:12 **Gladly**

9:14 **I, Danny, am the perfect height for normal human beings, have gloriously styled blonde hair, sparkling blue eyes and the right amount of scruff**

9:16 _Wow, very descriptive, I do see what you mean_

9:17 _I do not however understand the units of 'perfect height'_

9:19 **Of course you don't, you don't really understand much from what I've seen**

 9:21 _I'm going to ignore that because I can clearly see you're trying to avoid the question_

9:22 **What question? I didn't see a question anywhere in there**

9:24 _Really_

9:25 **Alright! I give up**

9:25 **If I so much as sense you're laughing Steve, I'm going to find you and you are going to need an ambulance if not a hearse**

9:27 _I'm sure I wouldn't laugh at whatever you consider the perfect height_

9:28 **5'5''**

9:29 _See, I'm not laughing that's adorable_

9:30 **Did you just...**

9:30 **That's it I take back what I said earlier, I am going to find you and I am going to kill you**

9:32 **You better be prepared for axe murder you Neanderthal because I am going to get you**

9:33 _Alright! I'm sorry! No laughing, no opinion over here, I'm sure you're very good-looking, please don't kill me_

9:35 **Hmm I don't really need to do I**

9:36 **I can just leave you alive for a few more days and you'll run right into danger and get yourself killed like the idiot you are**

9:38 _Hey that's not true_

9:38 _I only need one day_

9:40 **Of course you do**

9:41 **Well as entertaining as this has been Steven some idiots have misplaced evidence and as the local loser it's my job to find it**

9:43 _Haha alright Danno, have fun with that_

9:45 **I'll keep an eye out for your body in the morgue while I'm at it**

9:45 _Yeah I'd appreciate it if you told my family in person thanks_

9:48 **I suppose I can do that for you if I must, bye Steve**

9:51 _See you in the next life brah_

Det. Danny Williams closed his phone case chuckling slightly. As irritating as Steve seemed to be the guy could be funny if he tried, though with his reckless nature Danny was genuinely surprised he'd lasted as long as he'd had. Despite joking about it with him, the Detective could admit that he felt something akin to worry for the man he'd yet to meet. Which was a strange thought, when did he start considering actually meeting Steve? Shaking his head slightly to clear his thoughts he decided he'd try and lever himself up to find that evidence only when it became absolutely necessary. For now he'd just try and get through as much of his paperwork as possible.

Speaking of, even though he'd only been with HPD for under a year he could definitely say the workload had increased when the governor had implemented her new task force. And since Danny was still the unwanted haole in the department he was stuck rectifying whatever Hawaii Five 0's leader had fucked up most recently. The gun-crazy idiot (McGarrett was it?) apparently couldn't go a day without finding something else to blow up. Which of course lead to Danny working longer and longer hours, further decreasing the limited time he already had with his little girl. Clenching his hand around his pen he promised himself that the day he met McGarrett he'd punch the man in the face.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Idek even know what this is. But yay for meeting Steve and double yay for punching McGarrett in the face amiright
> 
> Check out my lil poetry ebook plz! Can download on the ereader app, don't have to have a kindle :)  
> $1.94 https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07NCNRCC7  
> £1.50 https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B07NCNRCC7
> 
> Luv y'all


	5. A`ohe lokomaika`i i nele i ke pâna`i – (No kind deed has ever lacked its reward.)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The guys find out a little more about each other and Kono and Chin start getting involved...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No I haven't updated in a while, for once I've actually been somewhat busy. Good news is I have an 8 week summer holiday coming up, bad news is I will be doing work experience for probably six of those weeks. Ah well. Most likely I will still get very bored and produce far too much fanfic all at once. So expect rare updates but when they happen they'll probably contain at least 3 or 4 chapters within a couple of days. This note makes no sense. Enjoy!! Weird Request: I wanna write more poetry but I'm stuck for ideas so if y'all wanna give me key words or summat that would be awesome. Also I have a somewhat pathetic tumblr I do not understand if you wanna see me randomly reposting other peoples stuff :) Same username as here

Chin Ho Kelly pulled up outside HQ and prepared to get out his car, stretching his arms above him as he did so. For whatever reason Steve had been a little easier to follow recently but that didn't mean he wasn't still crazy as all hell. Usually Chin considered himself a pretty easygoing guy when he wasn't truly angry with a perp but it was hard to maintain his calm nature when your leader was a guy like McGarrett.

Speak of the devil 

"Hey Steve!"

The Navy Seal didn't appear to hear the greeting as he opened the main door, smiling down at his phone screen. Not entirely surprised, as this had been happening a lot lately Chin jogged over to pat Steve on the shoulder.

"So is your phone more exciting than me now?" He grinned as his prepared-for-any-attack fearless leader jolted in surprise before turning around to face him.

"Chin, hey sorry man I was just er..." he trailed off as Chin's grin stretched further across his face 

"Texting your one true love?" 

A slightly panicked look broke out across Steve's face and his fingers tightened slightly around his phone "No, of course not its not like that" 

"Really?" 

"Yeah he.. er"

Almost as if they'd planned it Kono appeared over Steve's other shoulder and took advantage of his momentary confusion to swipe the phone from his hand.

"Ooh Danny. Nice name, is he cute?" She laughed, taking a few steps back as the perturbed man made grabby hands towards her.

"Yes? I mean, I don't know"

Chin broke in "How can you think he's cute but not know? And when did you start thinking guys were cute" 

Steve paled a little before shrugging it off "Always have" he said somewhat gruffly.

Kono leaned over and patted him on the head with her free hand “Aw it’s okay Steve, DADT has is gone and we don’t care as long as you give us lots of gossip on your new guy.”

The SEAL shook his head in a strangely dog-like fashion before once again reaching for his phone.

“I don’t really know” he grumbled, swiping fruitlessly through the air as she danced further away from him.

Chin, who’d been subtly herding them to their office, joined in once again “Well how about we go back to my original question, how can you think he’s cute but not know?”

“He sounds like he is.”

The ridiculousness of that statement made a passing eavesdropper actually stop for a second before she caught a glimpse of the glare on Steve’s face and hurried off to gossip about the cute, gay H50 guy upstairs.

Reaching their offices, Kono threw herself down in a chair and spun in circles

“To be fair the guy does describe himself well…”

“What?!” Came Steve’s indignant screech as he finally managed to get the phone out of her hands

“And anyway I meant his voice was nice” he said with a slightly smug smile.

Kono’s face lit up as she opened her mouth to quiz him again, only to groan when she glanced at the muted news on the TV behind Steve’s head.

“Sorry guys, looks like they’re going to need us soon.”

The other two turned around and all three of them shared a look of despair as they read the headline describing a multitude of complex and well-organised heists. Looked like this week was going to be a long one.

Unbeknownst to them, a few miles away Detective Daniel Williams, who only moments before had also been smiling at his phone, was thinking a much more despairing version of the same thing as he stared down at the body of his dead partner and friend in a fire pit. He’d been assigned to this case, despite his weak leg, because suddenly no-one else wanted anything to do with the man who had actually liked the haole and was rumoured to be dirty.

* * *

Monday 2/18/2011

8:31 **I gotta go.**

8:31 _Sorry Danno, I’ve got a case, speak to you later?_

8:32 _Oh. Once again with the coincidences huh?_

8:43: _Danny?_

8:47  **Be Safe.**

8:53  _Always am brah, always am_

12:16  _You know you were supposed to reply to that with something witty, like 'sure you are'_

12:42 **I'm busy.**

13:01 _Important case?_

13:3 _3 I'll leave you alone._

* * *

A few hours later Kono ran up behind Steve panting, 

"Did we get them all"

He turned around quickly, adrenaline still pumping through his veins "Yeah we got them. We got them good"

The two grinned at each other before dragging their respective catches to the HPD van where Chin and a police officer were already waiting.

"What took you so long?" he shouted as they came closer.

Steve pointed to his perp "I think I broke him"

Chin laughed "Ah that explains it. Come on then ohana lets clean this mess up and get back."

Kono winked from behind Steve's back "Yeah wouldn't want our lovesick brah here to miss quality time with his man."

The twos mischievous cousins high-fived, belying Chin's normally sedate nature and turned to chain the perps in, thus missing the moment Steve's smile slipped slightly as he remembered how abrupt Danny's replies had been earlier. 

* * *

1:02 _How are you? You seemed a little short earlier (:P)_

21:04 _You really still working?_

23:06  _Sleeping soon. Hope you're alright_

23:11  **whyi snt life fair Steve**

23:13  _Danny! You okay? Whats wrong?_

23:15 **my partner**

23:16  **hes gone**  

23:18  **gone**

23:20  _Oh Danno I'm sorry_

23:21  _What do you need?_

23:23 **monkey**

23:25 _Grace? I've got no way of getting her_

23:25  _Theres got to be something I can do for you_

23:27  **Talk to me**

 _*23:27_ _Incoming call from SuperIdiot*_

Steve held his breath as his phone rung once, twice, three times before it was picked up and a somewhat croaky voice on the other end answered.

**“Steve? Wah?”**

_“You said you wanted to talk”_

**“Oh”**

_“I can go if you want”_

Danny was starting to feel slightly better, warmed by the thought that Steve already cared enough to actually call him.

 **“** **Nah that’s alright. Now come on talk to me”**

_“…”_

**“You didn’t think this through did you?”**

_“Not really”_

**“You don’t appear to actually be any good at this talking business”**

_“That has been said before”_

**“I knew it. You’re like all army guys, muscly stoic types who stand in corners and grunt like Neanderthals when they want something.”**

_“Navy Danno, Navy”_

**“At least you admit to the rest”**

Steve was pleased to hear chuckles come through the speaker, though he could tell the other man was still upset. Figuring the best way to cheer Danny up was to get him ranting about something he figured he’d tell him about a case or two.

_“So the other day a suspect wouldn’t open his door”_

**“Smooth transition there Steve. Very Smooth”**

**“And I bet I can already tell where this is going”**

_“No you can’t”_

**“10 bucks”**

_“Fine”_

**“He wouldn’t open the door so obviously you just blew the door up”**

_“…”_

**“Oh my God Steve I was joking”**

Strange half-laughs, half-gasps could be heard now

**“I cannot believe you are real”**

_“In a good way?”_

**“I don’t know!”**

**“You know if he’d died he would no longer have had the ability to speak”**

**“Ergo he would have been useless to you!”**

_“Ergo? And actually I just wanted to get into his back room”_

Steve grinned as he heard Danny muttering darkly in the background. He may not have know the guy for long but it was pretty easy to figure out what pushed his buttons.

**“Okay. I cannot handle this. This is not good for my blood pressure Steve, I’m going to go.”**

  _“See ya Danno.”_

 _“_ _Sorry for your loss”_

**“Bye Steve”**

**“And thank you”**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sry about weird crack to sadness. Also Sry about all the hurt Danno I've been repeatedly watching that awesome s3 episode with the flashback to 9/11 and the scene in the raft. I also just watched 4x21 (?) with the collapsed building.  
> Okay hi, quick revision to end note, have I fixed my formatting issues? I saw a little bit of text I'd forgotten to italicise so I'm hoping that was it. Thanks for reading :)  
> ALSO COME SHOUT SHIT AT ME ON TUMBLR! SAME USERNAME
> 
> Check out my lil poetry ebook plz! Can download on the ereader app, don't have to have a kindle :)  
> $1.94 https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07NCNRCC7  
> £1.50 https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B07NCNRCC7
> 
> Luv y'all

**Author's Note:**

> If anybody would like to help me with characterisations/laziness/life in general please do. I am entirely useless.  
> Also so far I have only seen season one of Hawaii Five 0 so I'm sticking with the characters I know.


End file.
